


the struggler with shadows

by hypate



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypate/pseuds/hypate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are revered as the Hero With No Fear, even though you are a coward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the struggler with shadows

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, i don't even know. i'm making it up as i go. (i've never even wrote in second person pov, but i came to appreciate the style and i'm giving it a try)  
> i was hearing castle in the snow while writing this. i heard it and thought damn, it fits anakin really well and of course the next step was write something, obviously  
> be warned for a ludicrous use of parenthesis  
> (this is so pretentious, like really really pretentious)  
> i don't know if this is what i wished to write, but i'm satisfied with the way it turned out, so i'm posting it bye

i.

 

You're afraid your mother will be taken from you, destined to a worthless life of being considered less than the dust you daily step on.

 

Your mother cradles you in her arms, but the feeling won't go away. She tries to appease you, but you know she's as unsure about her future as you are.

 

You promise yourself you will free her someday, and the feeling somewhat recedes, but it does not disappear.

 

(You are young, but you are certain it will never disappear.)

 

ii.

 

You left your mother behind in a forgotten planet, following a mysterious man with nothing but a promise of a great destiny.

 

(You are told you are not fit for this destiny, because of your fear.)

 

(You are told you will become a Jedi by a young man with eyes just like your mother.

 

His eyes are full of infinite sadness, and you begin to fear for him too.)

 

iii.

 

You have a different life now. You are training to become a Jedi and someday you will see the whole universe.

 

You're scared, but not for yourself. You fear for your master.

 

He is injured. You are used to it after years of seeing it happen, but the fear is ever-present.

 

(You're always afraid he's going to leave you.)

 

iv.

 

Your mother dies in your arms, as you knew she would, after dreaming about it for numerous times.

 

(You did not free her, you did not free anyone.)

 

You tell yourself to be calm and centered, as a Jedi always is. You tell yourself to be a perfect Jedi, just as your master are.

 

(You are told that Jedi have no attachments, but Jedi do not know their mothers.)

 

You try, but you do not succeed.

 

You discover that fear _does_ lead to anger.

 

v.                 

 

Your padawan has left you. She abandoned you, and you can’t resent her for that. You are hurt by her actions, but you’re also scared for her.

 

(You can’t protect her if she is not by your side.)

           

(You ask yourself what you could have done to prevent it from happening, and the question will not let you sleep.)

 

vi.

 

Your wife is going to die. Your dreams have foreseen it, you hear her screams and you fear for her safety.

 

You promise yourself you will save her from your dreams. You will not fail again.

 

(You will not _try_. You will do it.)

 

 vii.

 

You have another master now.

 

(You try to convince yourself that you're not a slave of his whims, and sometimes you can almost manage it.)

 

(You try to convince yourself you're not afraid, and that fear is a weakness.

 

Deep down, you know it is a lie: you are always afraid.)

 

Your master is killing your son in front of you. You can hear his screams, his pleas for help.

 

You are afraid for your son.

 

And so, you do the only act of defiance you can manage in your state. You free your son from the clutches of a madman.

 

(And from your own chains.)

                   

(As your son holds you in his arms, you find that you're not as afraid of death as you always were.

 

You are finally free.)


End file.
